brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
