I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
