This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
