Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i permit you to call me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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