We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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