he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
