I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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