The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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