OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There r osticjed everywhere
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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