I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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