I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
