Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
