Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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