ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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