I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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