I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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