apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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