so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
