if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
