Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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