This girl is more easily done than said...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
