At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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