it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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