It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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