Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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