Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
