what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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