ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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