I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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