with your own penis?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
