so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
