But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
