OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
