How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
