Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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