he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My breasts were aching with rage.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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