Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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