why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
