I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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