why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
