...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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