Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
