In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
