True but thats because hes a fetus.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
