i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
