Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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