you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
