What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
