Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
