i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
