Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
