We're facebook friends in real life
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
