i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
