I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize