Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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