Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
