So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
