He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
