next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
