Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
